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Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
Can’t help but love Tard…
(Source: sallyintheskywithdiamonds)
i’ve had the hardest time making anything in my free time lately, so i’m doing this 30 day drawing challenge thing. hopefully i’ll do it past today but who knows????????????????? the first day is “yourself or your persona”
WELL, HERE IT IS.
working on a crest for the pizza gang i am starting
BRITISH VERSION OF THIS:
1. BOIL THE KETTLE - IF YOU HAVE TO USE A STOVE OR MICROWAVE SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR HOUSE
2. USE ANY WATER IN EXISTENCE - FUCK FILTERING THAT SHIT YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO MAKE A PROFILE YOUR SHOW IS BACK ON IN 5 MINUTES PRESS A
3. THROW WHATEVER THE HELL TEABAG YOU HAVE IN THERE - FUCK LOOSE TEA THAT IS FOR WHEN YOU ORDER TEA OUTSIDE
4. USE YOUR STIRRING TEABAG METHOD OF CHOICE, ADD SUGAR/SWEETENER LIKE A BOSS OR NOT IF YOU ARE A HEALTHY BOSS
5. GRUMBLE LIKE A FISHERMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE KETTLE AREA TO GO TO THE FRIDGE TO GET MILK AND BACK TO IT AGAIN AFTER YOU ADD IT
6. RUN BACK TO WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING, TAKE A COMFORT SIP AND THEN EITHER FINISH IT OR FORGET ABOUT IT AND MOAN ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU LET IT GO COLD
****
EDIT: IF YOU CAN’T SPOT IF NOT FROM THIS ALONE THEN THE NATURE OF MY TUMBLR THAT I’M NOT MAKING A DIG AT HER COMIC SIMPLY POINTING OUT HOW LAZY WE ARE OVER HERE WITH TEA THEN GET OFF THE INTERNET. THE COMIC COVERS ALL TEA OPTIONS. COME AT ME BRO.THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION
JUST GET THE BLOODY BILLY ON THE FIRE AND THROW IN A FISTFUL OF TEA FOR EACH BUGGER AFTER THE WATER BOILS
TAKE OFF FIRE
WAIT UNTIL IT REACHES DESIRED STRENGTH
CAPABLE OF SUPPORTING A SPOON STOOD UPRIGHT IN IT IS IDEAL
WHACK BILLY TO ENCOURAGE SINKING OF TEA LEAVES
POUR IT OUT
ADD AS MUCH MILK AND SUGAR AS YOU LIKE OR NOT AT ALL
VEGEMITE IS ACCEPTABLEDRINK IT DOWN WHILE RIDING OFF INTO THE OUTBACK ON YOUR BIG RED KANGAROO ON A SADDLE MADE OF DROPBEAR PELTS, WITH YOUR TRUSTY BRUMBY PACKING ALONG YOUR SWAG AND A DINGO BY YOUR SIDE
CHEERS MATE
CANADIAN VERSION
WHAT IS ENGLAND DOING?
OK NOW COPY THAT SHIT AND JUST CHANGE A FEW THINGS
NO PUSSY REAL “TEAWARE”, WE HAVE NORMAL COFFEE MUGS FOR THAT SHIT.
USE WHATEVER APPLIANCE YOU WANT TO HEAT THE DAMN WATER, YEAH WE SIGNED OUR FUCKING FREEDOM. NO ONE SAID IT WAS MANDATORY FOR KETTLES!
SIT LIKE A CLASSY MAN/WOMAN AND WAIT FOR IT TO BOIL
EAT SOME BACON
THROW A TEABAG IN THERE, LOOSE TEA IS FOR MY MONARCHIST AUNT.
DUMP SO MUCH SUGAR IN IT THAT YOU GET DIABETES AND SO MUCH MILK THAT YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE AND MILK THE COW, BETSY.
TAKE A SIP.
SCALD YOURSELF AND ALMOST DROP MUG, SPILLING IT DOWN THE FRONT OF YOUR BACK IN THE PROCESS.
REALIZE TEA ISN’T TOO MUCH OF YOUR THING AND GO BACK TO COFFEE.
AMERICAN VERSION
FIND A CUP(?) (ANY CLEAN, CUP-LIKE INSTRUMENT WILL WORK)
FILL IT WITH TAP WATER
ADD FIVE SPOONFULS OF INSTANT ICED TEA POWDER
STIR THAT SHIT SO HARD YOU SPILL SOME ON THE COUNTER, LET GO OF THE SPOON SO YOU CAN WATCH IT SPIN
DRINK IT AND CHOKE BECAUSE IT’S TOO SWEET
POUR SOME INTO THE SINK AND ADD WATER IN HOPES THAT IT WILL TASTE ACCEPTABLE
REPEAT UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT
ADD ICE CUBES AND A STRAW TO ENHANCE CLASSINESS
AMERICAN VERSION PART2
GRAB A DAMN MUG
FILL WITH TAP WATER
PUT THAT SHIT IN THE MICROWAVE FOR ABOUT 1 OR 2 MINUTES CAUSE YOU’RE TOO PUSSY TO DRINK BOILING HOT DRINKS AND TOO LAZY TO USE THE STOVE
GRAB WHATEVER SHITTY-ASS TEA BAG YOU HAVE, EVEN IF IT’S IT THAT DAMN LIPTON LEMON TEA AND SHOVE IT IN
ADD A SHITLOAD OF SUGAR
POUR SOME COLD-ASS MILK, MAKING YOUR SHITTY TEA EVEN LESS WARM
DRINK THAT SHIT
FORGET YOU MADE IT
FIND IT AGAIN AND DRINK THAT COLD-ASS PIECE OF SHIT YOU CALL TEA
AMERICAN VERSION 3
ACQUIRE TEA
THROW IT IN BOSTON HARBOR
THROW IT IN THE BOSTON HARBOUR
MURRIKA
DYING
NEUROTIC VERSION
Think, “God, maybe some tea would calm me the fuck down.”
Put Kettle on the stove, leave room because you are worried about something you have/have not done.
Forget that you are making tea while frantically cleaning your room and/or panicking about disconnected things.
HEAR THE RAGING SCREECH OF THE TEA KETTLE WHICH YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN EXISTED AND FREAK THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT NOISE IS YOUR APARTMENT BURNING DOWN FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
SEE STEAM IN KITCHEN, THINK ITS SMOKE, LEAP INTO KITCHEN AND realize its just the damn kettle.
Pour hot water into tea pot, leave room and become preoccupied again, stubbornly drink cold extremely strong tea three hours later when you venture into the kitchen again to stress eat.
(Source: areyoutryingtodeduceme)
ain’t safe for work, nope.
Last night I was emailed some porn that someone drew of me because I said a thing on the internet that they disagreed with. Because, there you go, ‘justice.’ When stuff like that comes your way you don’t usually say anything because who gives a fuck, but oh well, let’s do it anyway. So, I’ve seen that shit before because I’ve been on the internet for 100 years, but it always looks like this:
Give me a break! It should look like this
Living the dream.
